These pesky birds have deserted Thames side perches in favour of Norland chimneys. Nesting, screeching and silhouetted against the clay pots … it’s migratory mayhem.

‘I couldn’t hear the tele said Dom. Had to scream up the fireplace to dislodge the trespasser. It took 10 minutes for the message to get through to Mrs. Gull!...Go find another perch!”

She really was most put out. I had to explain: “It’s my pad. I was here first and we can’t hear the **** score with you and your mates making a racket . There’s a law against that! Clear orf! “

Council officials are scratching their heads. They are not pests. It’s not noise and nuisance. These latest arrivals have not applied for planning permission and its too high up to issue parking tickets.

It’s all rather bemusing. Officers are working on ‘hatching’ a cunning plan.

Has your chimney been invaded? Do let us know …